What is the deal with airplane Wi-Fi? You pay, right? You pay good money for this service. And what do you get? A connection so slow, it makes dial-up look like fiber optics. It’s like they’re running the internet through a garden hose at 30,000 feet. ‘Premium speed,’ they call it. Premium for *them*, maybe, for the extra cash they’re raking in. And then you try to send an email, just a simple email, and it just… sits there. Staring at you. Mocking you. You think, ‘Did it send? Is it lost in the stratosphere? Am I just sending empty packets into the void?’ I paid for internet access, not for a digital staring contest!