You know what’s always reliable? The weather. It’s the ultimate small talk. ‘Nice weather we’re having.’ Or, ‘Looks like rain.’ It’s like a universal greeting card. But what if you don’t care about the weather? What if you actively dislike the weather? Do I have to pretend to be interested in the atmospheric conditions just to establish rudimentary human contact? And then what? You’ve exhausted the weather. Now what are we supposed to talk about? My weekend? What if my weekend was terrible? ‘Yeah, I just watched paint dry.’ Is that acceptable? No! It’s not! So you lie. You always lie. ‘Oh, it was great! Just… you know, things.’ What things? No one ever asks. It’s a delicate dance of meaningless pleasantries.
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