You go to a coffee shop, right? And they’ve got these giant muffins. But they’re not just muffins, they’re *muffin tops*. What’s the deal with that? It’s like, ‘Here, have all the crusty, dry, sugary part, but none of the structural integrity.’ It’s a muffin without commitment! And then you try to eat it, and it just crumbles all over your nice shirt. I didn’t ask for a dessert explosion, I asked for a *muffin*! It’s an insult to the very concept of breakfast.
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