Reservations. What’s the deal with reservations? You call a place, ‘Can I get a table for two at 7?’ ‘Sorry, we’re fully booked until 9.’ Fully booked? Are these people flying in? Do they need customs clearance to get to their table? Then you show up at 9, and there are like, three empty tables! Three! Were they holding them for the Queen? Is she stuck in traffic? And even with a reservation, you still have to wait! ‘Just a few more minutes, your table is almost ready.’ Almost ready? Did they have to knit a new tablecloth? This is a racket, I tell you, a complete and utter racket!