These coffee shops, huh? What’s with the names? ‘The Ember & Bean,’ ‘The Grinder’s Grind,’ ‘The Artisanal Drip.’ It’s coffee! It’s ground beans and hot water! Are they brewing a mystical elixir, or just a cup of joe? And then you get inside, and they ask if you want ‘a Venti Caramel Macchiato, extra foam, light ice, and a drizzle of something-or-other.’ Can I just get a coffee? A regular, plain, black coffee? Is that so hard? It’s like I need a PhD in beverage linguistics just to order a morning pick-me-up!