Online reviews. What’s with the specificity? ‘This toaster changed my life!’ Really? A toaster? What was your life *before* this toaster? Were you just… eating cold bread? Did this toaster give you financial advice? Did it teach you to love again? And then there are the one-star reviews. ‘The bread goes in, and it comes out… *toast*! Not what I expected!’ What *did* you expect? A magic portal to a butter dimension? It’s a toaster! It toasts! It’s the one thing it’s designed to do! People are reviewing basic functionality like it’s a groundbreaking technological marvel or a tragic betrayal. It’s just a thing! A mundane, useful thing!
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