Online reviews. My goodness, the detail! You buy a toaster, right? It toasts bread. That’s the function. But no! You get these reviews: ‘This toaster changed my life! The perfectly golden-brown toast, every single time! Five stars!’ Changed your life? What kind of life were you living before? A dark, untoasted existence? And then the one-star reviews: ‘The toast was too brown! I prefer a lighter shade of warmth, not actual toast!’ It’s a toaster! It toasts! What did you *think* it was going to do? Bake a cake? It’s a public opinion circus for every single mundane item. Everyone’s a critic, everyone’s a gourmet chef, everyone’s a life philosopher, all because of a kitchen appliance. Just tell me if it works, and if it won’t burn my house down. That’s all I need!
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