You go to a coffee shop, right? You want a coffee. Simple. But then, ‘What size?’ they ask. And you say, ‘Regular.’ Oh no, Jerry, there’s no ‘regular.’ There’s ‘tall,’ which is small. ‘Grande,’ which is medium. And ‘Venti,’ which, I think, means ‘enough to swim in.’ Who designed this system? Is it a conspiracy? Are they trying to trick us into ordering more? I just want a cup of joe, not a linguistic challenge. And don’t even get me started on the names: ‘Caramel Macchiato,’ ‘Vanilla Bean Frappuccino.’ It sounds like a secret code, not a beverage. It’s coffee, people! You brew it, you drink it. What’s the deal with all the pomp and circumstance?
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