Online reviews. It’s a wild west out there, isn’t it? Everything is either ‘life-changing’ or ‘the worst experience of my existence.’ There’s no middle ground. You buy a spatula, and someone’s written a three-paragraph treatise on the ergonomic design and the metaphysical implications of its heat resistance. And then someone else gives it one star because it ‘didn’t come with instructions.’ Instructions for a spatula! What are we doing here? Are we reviewing the product, or our own emotional state? It’s a performance art piece, and we’re all just scrolling through the audience.
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