So, online reviews, huh? What’s the deal with those? Everyone’s a food critic now! Five stars for a bagel. One star because the barista *looked* at them wrong. You go to a restaurant, you have a perfectly fine meal, nothing groundbreaking, nothing terrible. Three stars, right? But no, someone’s out there saying it’s ‘life-changing’ or ‘the worst culinary experience of their life.’ It’s a sandwich! It’s bread, meat, and cheese! How much life-changing potential does it *really* have? And the comments! ‘The napkins were too thin!’ Oh, the humanity! The injustice! I mean, who has the time? Who has that much *passion* for a waffle iron?