Small talk. Why do we do this to ourselves? ‘How was your weekend?’ What do they *really* want to know? Do they want to hear about my intricate plans to reorganize my sock drawer? No! They want me to say ‘Good, you?’ And then they say ‘Good.’ And then the conversation’s over. It’s an elaborate charade of polite indifference. And the weather! The weather is the ultimate small talk crutch. ‘Looks like rain, huh?’ Yes, it does. It has for the last three days. Are we supposed to be surprised by atmospheric conditions? It’s like we’re all in a play, and the script only has two lines: ‘Hello’ and ‘It’s fine.’